18 questions to ask college roommate to ensure the best possible living situation
Is it just me, or does it seem like everyone has at least one roommate horror story? Even I had to go through a few bad roommates before actually getting to live with a great one. It can be nerve wracking moving in with a new roommate, especially if they’re a stranger. But if you know the right questions to ask a roommate in college, you can 100% avoid collecting your own horror stories and instead have a great experience.
After a few bad roommate experiences, I realized I could make the next one better with some great questions to ask college roommate from the get-go. And guess what? Knowing what questions to ask a roommate in college enabled us to have a great relationship while we were living together, a positive house environment, no conflict at all, and it also set the stage for a great friendship that I still have today.
So, here are some great questions to ask a roommate that you’re about to move in with.
BEFORE ASKING QUESTIONS, UNDERSTAND THIS:
It’s always better to ask someone what they want before telling them what you want. This will set the stage for a positive relationship with that person. They’ll feel like you’re truly listening to them, like you care about what they’re comfortable with, and will make them all the more open to do the same for you.
For example, instead of immediately telling your roommate, “I think we should take turns cleaning the bathroom every week,” ask them, “How do you think we should split up the cleaning?” Maybe they’ll tell you that they hate doing dishes and would rather clean the bathroom, and you can set up a system where you wash all the dishes and they clean the bathroom every week. The point is, asking them what they want will show them that you care to hear their input, and it will give them the opportunity to bring great ideas to the table that you may not have thought of if you had immediately told them how you want to do things.
This post is all about questions to ask a roommate in college.
QUESTIONS TO ASK A ROOMMATE:
The following questions are specific to people who will be living on-campus and sharing a dorm room or suite with a new roommate.
1. Do you want to coordinate room decor?
Some people love coordinating dorm room decor when they live on campus. If your roommate is interested, it could give you guys a great way to bond and get to know each other in a casual way. It’ll also give you an understanding of their taste and personality!
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2. What are you bringing?
Again, this is simply a great way to bond. It also gives you insight and ideas on what you might want to bring to your dorm. Maybe they thought of something that never crossed your mind. You can work together to make sure you’re both prepared!
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3. What classes are you taking?
This, again, is more of a get-to-know-you question. But perhaps you end up having one or two of the same classes. If that’s the case, now you know someone in that class and it gives you a chance to further connect with your roommate. If not, well, it’s a good conversation starter and a way to get to know a bit more about them and what they’re studying.
4. What’s your class schedule?
This is a follow-up question to the last one that will give you insight on what their schedule will be like. Will they have lots of early mornings? Late nights? What days will they be away from the dorm room for the longest? This will help prepare you to live with them and envision what it could look like.
5. Are you joining any clubs or teams on campus?
Again, a fun get-to-know-you and conversation starter! Learn the basics about them ahead of time so that you can skip the small talk when you get to campus.
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6. How do you like to study?
Part of having a good roommate is being a good roommate. If you’re considerate of your roommate’s needs, they’ll be more considerate of yours. So, ask about their study habits. Maybe they’d prefer to go to the library all the time, in which case you don’t have to worry about it. Maybe they’d rather be shut up in the dorm room with no distractions and they won’t feel comfortable with you bringing friends over during those times. Perhaps they wake up really early to study, or maybe they guzzle a lot of coffee and stay up all night. This will be helpful for you to know so that you can be considerate by adjusting your own habits accordingly.
It will also open a conversational door for you to tell them if you have any specific needs. Maybe you’re the one who wants to study in your room with no distractions. Once you’ve heard out their needs, you’ll be able to safely share your own without sounding demanding.
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7. What time are you arriving on move-in day?
You don’t really need to know this, but it can lessen the nerves to know when your roommate is showing up. This question simply opens up a conversation to know how your roommate is feeling about move-in day and whether they’re the ‘get there early and prepared’ or ‘show up whenever’ type of person.
General Questions to Ask College Roommate (On-campus or Off-campus)
The following are questions to ask a roommate whether you’re living on-campus in a dorm room, or off-campus. They’re important questions either way!
8. Are you a light or heavy sleeper?
If they’re a light sleeper, you’ll want to be extra considerate about making noise at night. If they’re a heavy sleeper, you know you’ve got less to worry about!
9. Are you a morning person or a night owl?
Oh my goodness. I did not realize how much of a difference this made when it comes to roommates. Your roommate’s schedule WILL impact yours, whether you like it or not. So it’s really important to know ahead of time whether they’re a morning person or a night owl, to know how that’s going to affect you.
10. If there’s something I do that bothers you, can you agree to tell me so we can find a solution? I don’t want you to be afraid to tell me that you’re bothered by something.
This is probably the most important one. This made a huge difference with my last roommate. The truth is, sometimes it’s the tiny things that really get to us when we live with someone new for the first time.
For example, maybe your roommate has a habit of leaving their hairbrush on the eating table and once it’s happened 4 or 5 times, you realize you can’t stand it. Or perhaps you often leave your pyjamas on the floor when you’re in a rush in the morning, and your roommate just hates it. There are always minor things that we don’t know bother us until they happen.
You can’t necessarily plan for ALL possible conflicts and annoyances, so it’s important to ask your roommate to tell you if you’re doing something that bothers them. This shows them that you’ll put in the effort to consider their needs and resolve conflict. Likely, they’ll respond by telling you they want you to do the same. That way, you’ll have a communicative relationship where you’re comfortable to bring up issues and have the assurance that it’s no big deal.
11. Are you allergic to anything?
This one is important for obvious reasons! Hopefully, if your roommate has serious allergies, they’ll tell you without being asked. But don’t rely on that, especially if you don’t know them. Plus, as I said a few times already, asking questions like this will show that you’re considerate and care about their well-being.
12. How comfortable are you with overnight guests?
Remember that it’s your room/house too, so you don’t need to ask your roommate’s permission for everything you do. If they feel you should get their permission for everything, well, they shouldn’t be a roommate in general (know what you’re signing up for, people). That being said, it is important to take into consideration their level of comfort. If they don’t love having tons of people stay over at night, but you love parties, compromise by going out to parties rather than throwing them at your place frequently. If they’re not comfortable with having people stay over on school or work nights, compromise by only inviting your friends to stay over on weekends. There are ways you can meet halfway on matters like this.
13. Do you have a job?
A simple get-to-know-you and a great way to understand what their schedule will be like!
14. How do you want to split up the housework?
I’ve found that taking a “let’s not make a cleaning schedule” approach has ALWAYS been a recipe for DISASTER. Even if you have the cleanest roommate on earth, eventually, things need to be disinfected, wiped down, dusted and swept. So, do yourself a favour and make a cleaning schedule, even if it’s a flexible or occasional one.
15. What is your schedule like?
Just ask them straight up what their schedule is like. This will show you how much you’ll be seeing them, how often they’re out of the house, and will give you insight into their social life and life as a whole rather than just their school and work schedule.
16. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
SO IMPORTANT! If you’re an extrovert rooming with an introvert, the idea of wanting alone time or not wanting to talk much might be foreign to you and hard for you to respect. If you find out right away why your roommate behaves the way they do, you’ll know how to interact with them better.
17. When you’ve had an exhausting day, how do you refuel?
This goes hand-in-hand with the last question. Knowing how much space someone needs is key if you want to be a considerate and friendly roommate. Also, if they need alone time, you’ll know that they’re not trying to ignore you, they just need some down time! Knowing this information will help you not take it personally when they’re tired or in a bad mood.
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18. What’s your biggest pet peeve around the house?
This question is very telling of a person’s personality. It will also set you up for a great relationship with your roommate. The last thing you want is to unknowingly do something they hate. They might be afraid to tell you and then resent you because you keep doing it. That wouldn’t be your fault, but if you can take precautions to make sure that doesn’t happen, then it’s best to do so. So, ask them what their pet peeve is, tell them what yours is, and you’ll be good!
This post was all about questions to ask a roommate in college.
What would you add to this list of questions to ask a roommate?
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